tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30567906.post8777367505909456384..comments2023-12-19T00:27:40.453-10:00Comments on .: Bed is always rightMcGuirehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03095242258892600138noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30567906.post-91330035955494763712009-03-19T22:00:00.000-10:002009-03-19T22:00:00.000-10:00The 'maybe' because...well, what do I know? But I ...The 'maybe' because...well, what do I know? <BR/>But I like the idea (and the soul) and I don't think I've ever read a poem that glories in bed in quite this way.And some of the lines are really good - 'Life is the great war of the tired' is another one that just jumped out at me. <BR/>When you feel (or know...for sure...or as near as damn it) that it is the very best version of this poem that you can make it - then it's done.<BR/>xRachel Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11803852725693518924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30567906.post-18576883569150716102009-03-19T08:44:00.000-10:002009-03-19T08:44:00.000-10:00O, Rachel, the 'maybe' is dripping with doubt, why...O, Rachel, the 'maybe' is dripping with doubt, why? <BR/><BR/>This needs a good janitorial cleaning up but I think the soul remains alivei n this piece as it is. But some dodgy punctuation and general slapdashery needs brought into line.<BR/><BR/>Appreciate your reading.McGuirehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03095242258892600138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30567906.post-78109994658811410762009-03-19T00:05:00.000-10:002009-03-19T00:05:00.000-10:00I like the first line, the fourth line and the Uni...I like the first line, the fourth line and the United States bit best of all.<BR/><BR/>I think you could tighten it up a bit. I think it could be something special...maybe.<BR/>xRachel Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11803852725693518924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30567906.post-47432891175949487652009-03-14T09:26:00.000-10:002009-03-14T09:26:00.000-10:00Charmant.I am typing this from my bed.Charmant.<BR/>I am typing this from my bed.Mrs Pouncerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06750280825519545045noreply@blogger.com