Saturday, January 03, 2009

The Old Boy

My Mum and Dad say I’m an angel,
who must always do his homework.
Clean the dirt from behind my ears.
Listen and never be afraid of honesty.

Once they took my brother and I
to a cliff near the site of the battle
of Bannockburn. We peered over the edge
and Mum said, ’don't go too near the edge.’

The folks says people are just people
at the best of the time and at the worst.
If they lie they think it is worth it.
I don’t think I like people anyway.

I'm sad when alone at night
when the house is frozen quiet,
and no one appears alive it's then
I think of them all alone in memory.

Dad says to never turn the music up
too loud because you can’t hear what
people are saying. But he says I can enjoy
the dress up box and achieve anything if I dare.


Jim Murdoch said...

Nothing great to say about this one other than the punctuation spoiled it for me. And it's 'too loud'. Sort out the sentences and I think you've got a winner here.

McGuire said...

The punctuation spoiled it for you? - What went wrong? Too many commas?
I'll have a re-read.

Thanks for reading

(p.s. will be commenting on your surrealist essay, just not had the time to put forward an informed reponse yet. I'll be there soon with that one.)