Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Shot to pieces.

Saturn devouring her son - Goya.

Slow breeze and idle peace in the town ammo store;
tenuous friendship between a hand gun and rifle
living together on the same shelf for too long.
Immaculate glass cabinet shines in sun light.
A gun smirks and glints beneath its glare.
The shop owner takes stock of his weaponry.

Elderly couple in the parking lot argue
over the necessity of firearms for safety.
'A society without guns disarms
a population against possible takeover
by the military. We got freedom with the gun,
Betty.' 'Then we'll never be free without the gun,
George. If people need to protect themselves
from other people, by killing each other,
their is blindly something wrong with people.'
'War is the art of protection. We need a gun
in case the worst happens, Betty.'
'What if the worst never ends, George?'

A chandelier in the White House hall hangs
like a constellation and the chandeliers
of the palaces of the world hang and
the chandeliers and the chandeliers.
While all around the world in arms:
The right arm sells the war,
the left tends to the wounded.

Distrust and chandeliers.
Six billion bullets have never kissed.
They lie in bed having never held each other.
And the bodies pile and the bodies pile
like fallen logs. Entire schools
hosed down in broad day light
and the world is doomed and sealed in a bang.


Duluk said...

I actually think the third section is my favorite. :)

I'm not sure I get the conversation in section two. Betty's first statement sounds, to me, like she is against taking guns away. Saying it is a fascist plot sounds disapproving of 'A society without guns.' Then George seems to contradict her even though it seems they are saying the same thing, that removing guns is bad. Then she says something that does sound condemning through irony perhaps. Anyway, I'm probably missing something there, but the whole idea of the conversation I personally can't decide on. Part of me likes it; part of me doesn't. :)

Again, the third is nice with the repetitions. I agree it could use work. Though I really like "And the bodies pile/and the bodies pile like fallen logs".

Those are my thoughts. If you're interested.

McGuire said...

Hello Duluk,

I'm thankful for your reading, to hear from anyone, is better than to hear nothing.

I don't think the second section is as problematic as you perhaps suggest. I simply need to make sure the same character is following the same logic of their thoughts. I probably put Betty instead of Goerge or the other way around.

The conversation might be a bit unnecessary. I wanted to have some kind of 'debate' about gun culture but I also liked the old people because they embody that historical aspect of gun worship. i.e. that guns are inevitable and necessary in American culture.

I need to edit it here and there. Thanks for your take on it. Glad you read this Duluk. It's nice to know strangers are reading and taking note and passing comment.

Work to be done.

Thank you very much.

hope said...

I've been reading too and have recently commented but unfortunately too late...well too late if you don't get those e-mails which say, "Hey, someone just commented on your blog". :)

I see where you're going in the second section. Like any work in progress, you'll keep tinkering until YOU are happy with it.

Funny that you chose this topic. I almost wrote a blog this morning about how guilty I felt watching a t.v. program called "Deadliest Warrior". It takes differing "opponents", compares their weapons and decides by computer modeling who would win a battle between the two. The one I watched was William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu.

The Brokendown Barman said...

who won Hope??
Hey McGuire, cheers for the comment before, same to you Hope.
not had a chance to catch up on anyones blogs recently, but is now prime directive numero uno.

McGuire said...

Hell hope. Good to hear from you. I recognise your blog from a while back. I had a read there myself. Alas, I haven't selected to be informed when new messages arrive. I don't know how.

Glad you took the time to consider and respond.

Oddly enough, after writing this I came upon a site dedicated to researching 'peaceful societies' most of them are in South America or there abouts. They aren't utopian but it is interesting to read that there are communities where violence and conflict are disliked so much that they are avooided at every cost. Pro-social behaviour is encouraged more the anti=social behaviour.

Hello drunk man, good to hear from you once and a while. take it easy.

speak with you all in the future.

hope said...

Good, hope sighed, fearing she had offended and thus McGuire had chosen to ignore her as the non-poet in the bunch. :)

If you ever decide you want to be notified of comments, keep reading. If not, that's okay too. :) Either way, have a good weekend.

If you want a heads up to see when someone visits, go to your Dashboard, hit Settings, then Comments...the last one is for comment notification where you add an e-mail address.

The Brokendown Barman said...

ah McGuire, i take it by drunk man you mean me?? i would have thought a poet like yerself would have been able to see me at many levels. on some levels im pissed, at other levels am steamin. some lucky people who can see past the
glaring punctuation errors and, missspelling can actually see me for more than just a drunken bastard. some times im on drugs!!!!!!! lol