Twelve, May 1930, North Carolina.
Dada works hard as hell and it's as hot as hell at the mill, like a furnace, he sayz, like momma's cooker on full for the bread. He don't beat me - and done more boys sayz they dada's hits them when theyz too hot or unhappy.My Dada don't hurt at all. He gone made me a swing, out back too. He is fast and hard when we wrestle. My idol. He doesn't cry.
Momma bakes pancakes with vanilla ice-cream and feeds Bubba scraps o' meat. It's summer. It's bright like all day, and sticky in da night, window open to let cool in, and i here the chip crickets and owl's call, and it sleeps me well. I play twist in the garden and the sun shines through the tress like one hundred swords.
I go school and learn to understand and make things and plus ones and twos and paint brilliant colours and listen to music on piana, which buils up side of me like a foutain. I play ball wit Joey and Sondra and everybody else who play. Momma and Dad sayz life wasn't prepared for me, thought they sayz I gotta make my own mark in thiz here world. Thiz is it a guess. My news for today.
Micky Kelly
2 comments:
I like the story. Not sure about the voice. I'm assuming that you're Micky Kelly since I can't find another online. I find it hard enough writing in Glaswegian without tackling another tongue in fact I'm just about to send my novel set in Ireland to an Irish friend to check my Irishisms because although it looks fine to me and I checked everything the bottom line is that I just don't talk that way.
I think the voice is what saves it from being nothing much at all. Which it is. I wrote the original about six years ago and beefed it up with some more detail.
The voice is pretty accurate. In my head, I hear it loud, but not in your head? That might be a problem.
It's turned into a wee homage to Carson McCullers, who wrote with a similar voice, that southern American twang. Read - My Heart Is A Lonely Hunter. It's brilliant. My voice minute not be completely acuriate but using that for comparison it does well.
Good luck with the Irish novel.
Keep in touch.
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