Mundane.
The telephone rings,
I don't answer.
It won't be
the voice of God.
Only another
breather trying
to articulate
important information
regarding practical reality.
I have not slept
peacefully
for days.
l have no affection
for battles.
I have been poisoned
by ennui. The hair
on my neck grows
like the hair of
a wolf but I'm a hermit
in winter not a wolf.
Those who exist above
the cities and their scaffolding,
live outside the entire game
of spectacular society.
How lucky these
types are like
single roses
on a plateau.
and maybe there are no easy answers.
Only a mountain track
where few dare to climb.
The phone persists,
and each airraid,
knives my sleep.
Exhuasted,
waiting only for
the mercy
of summer.
Slowly I wake
without ambition
lurch from my bed
pull the phone
from the plug.
5 comments:
On the whole I like this. I'm bit unsure about the break before the 'Buddha' stanza, the same goes for the sentence itself. I think the break should come with the line 'But the phone persists' and the previous four lines appended to the previous stanza since they feel like their connected. My first thought was that the narrator was sitting like Buddha and that's not right.
I'm not sure about 'lurk from bed' either. Part of me likes, part of me doesn't. 'Lurk' feels static - people lurk in doorways.
In general the piece feels a bit loose and explicit. I would be tempted to try and tighten it up a bit but the idea is a decent one.
a bit loose and explicit.
I know what you mean, it's all very common place scattered with some loose observations and imagery. I was tempted not to post this but there is something I like about it. But, I suppose it is rather unsurprisng and unpoetic, but yet it certian captures my thoughts at the time.
I reads more like a diary notation thany anything. I won't delete it yet. Made some changes.
It was probably only another public information call. It reminded me of W. S.Graham
........ Yesterday
I heard the telephone ringing deep
Down in a blue crevasse.
I did not answer it and could
Hardly bear to pass.
surprised noone has commented on the name of this piece!!!
to many people a phone is a lifeline to the outside world,it supplies comfort and knowledge in the same way an umbilical cord provides nourishment. maybe its just too obvious and thats why its not been brought up lol!!!!
This could make good lyrics for a song.It puts me in mind of James Yorkston, if ye have never heard o him check him out, ye may likey.
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