Elizabeth: 'Hi Karen! Fancy meeting you here. What books that you're reading?'
Karen: Hi, Liz, it's 'The beauty of being' by A. H. Hart. It's devastating. So moving. Tear filled. I would recommend it. Really plays with the heart strings. How are you doing anyway? How are Eric and the boys?'
Elizabeth: 'I'm brilliant. The family are doing great. I love a good book too, Karen. I adore Emmanuelle Terez, a wonderful Latin novelist, I love to read philosophy, romance, and poetry, in fact, I'm actually in a community book group. Ah yes, such types as we are truly beautiful, peaceful, we won't be dragged by the demands of life. We have an overwhelming sense of empathy. We love the sensitive side of life, the soul, introspection, the passionate life. Don't you agree?'
Elizabeth: '...O Karen, look at the time, I really must pick the children up from school then I must dash to the supermarket and do the shopping. We are having lamb chops for dinner and lychees and vanilla ice cream for dessert. Can you believe they charge one pound and sixty three pence for a single can? I was outraged, almost complained, dear dear, rotten supermarkets. I'm thinking of changing to the new Tescos branch thats just opened. '
Karen: 'God yes Liz, I've started shopping their myself; the smaller supermarkets are just too over priced. It's extortionate. So, is that the book group Susan Redford attends? I've thought about joining actually, it's down at the local library, is that the one?'
Elizabeth: Yes, Susan is secretary. You should come down, it's on Wednesday evenings. I'm sure we'd all love to have you. Well lovey, my jeep isn't parked far from here. I'll be off, see you soon love. I'll pop round during the week with a copy of 'Soft lives of the delicare unaware' by Emmanuelle Terez; it's so poignant. kiss kiss xx.'
8 comments:
Impersonation is the sincerest form of compliment - where did you get the idea?
I worked in a supermarket for years and I used to hear all kinds of middle class women and yuppy families fawning over each other. To be fair, most of them were decent people, but it was the apparent 'softness' of our lives that always struck me as oddly unreal.
This is humurous and cynical - an odd little analogy of many 'literary' circles.
More to come.
So that's why you didn't want to talk to me!
titus - where you at the London night? I wouldn't have recognised you. Which person where you? Are you the lady from the train?
If so, I apologise, I went for a sleep and didn't quite come round until near the end of the trip.
Who were you>?
Middle-aged, middle-class big-haired blonde woman aka JoAnne McKay. It was nice to meet you. Really!
Ah, it is you, I'm a fool; I've just found a photo of you on your blog but really Titus the Dog totally left me unassume that it was you.
I enjoyed your reading. We should have talked on the train, I was dead from the weekend. I slept in standard class but the sleep was royal.
I hope we meet again. More poeyatree readings and what not.
Good searching, but not a hat one I hope. Enjoyed your work too, you have a mighty voice. Yes, until we meet again. And you stay awake.
I didn't get this at first. As I was reading it I was thinking something like, "Christ, I'm gonna get tore into him when I'm done," and then it clicked and I realised your tongue was firmly in your cheek. Note to self: reading and reviewing are two separate things and should be kept well apart. That said, it does need a good edit. But you knew that.
I heard it in a Kelvinside accent, which sounds, as Billy Connolly so succinctly put it as if someone's talking with jawries in their gob (marbles in their mouth) for any non-Glaswegians reading this but every society has a subculture like this only I expect they'd want to call it a superculture. Very funny post.
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